When the going gets tough, I get tougher. 06-15-2016

I’m really sorry about grandpa. President Moore did tell me before I got to email. I’m doing ok. I’m a little sad, but I’ll be ok.   President Moore gave me a blessing and it was really comforting. 

Ok so I still love it here, but this last week has been really, really hard. I’ve had the most spiritual experiences but it seems like every time I have a spiritual experience it only gets harder. I’m trying so hard to be positive but at the moment it’s not the easiest. I could use as many prayers. My stomach has felt much better this week but it’s still adjusting. I’ve only thrown up once since last Wednesday but shhhhh my companion doesn’t know, it was in the middle of the night and I was able to sneak out and back in without waking any of the Hermana’s in my room up. I’m really being careful what I eat. I haven’t had any dairy since the first day down here so I don’t know why I’m throwing up.  Mom I’m taking all of my vitamins except the powder. I’m not allowed to take it into the comador and it’s really gross in water. Bleh. But I am taking the pills and I promise that I will do the powder when I get out into the mission field. Also witching hour without American chocolate is very hard. Peru chocolate is so weird.  If you don’t know what the witching hour is go back to 8th grade health.      

So now you might be guessing why my week has been so hard? Well let me tell you.... I can’t speak Spanish.  And by that I mean I need to explain. Like I said everyone in my district has had some kind of Spanish. My district is improving at very fast rates. I am not. Yesterday while my class went on to learn something new I was put off to the side to go over one thing for 45 minutes. It was not fun. I was studying stuff that I should have retained the first day, but I didn’t. My Morning teacher didn’t even know I had no Spanish before the CCM until Monday. But it’s frustrating because I can’t teach the lessons I can’t do anything that they can do. I feel like such a burden to my companion because she is top in the district and I am bottom. She helps me but I can’t retain it at all. Every day the last week I’ve just wanted to go home. 

But everyday something or someone reminds me why I’m here. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. There hasn’t been someone here to hold my hair while I throw up. There hasn’t been someone to just randomly give me a hug. American chocolate has not been easily accessed. I haven’t had my little sister to tell me she understands and that it’s going to be ok. I haven’t had my two older brothers reminding me I got his and I’m way better than this stupid language. I haven’t had my Mom to talk everything out with. I haven’t had my Dad there just take a look at my face a give me a big ole bear hug.

BUT

I have had my companion who keeps motivating me to be better. I have the Hermana’s in my room that make me laugh so hard my cramps multiply x10. I have an amazing CCM President and wife that keep reminding me I can do this. I’ve got an awesome branch president that treats me like a granddaughter and really cares about how I’m doing. I have awesome training sisters that give me random hugs and help me when they can. I also have the great companionship of the Holy Ghost that helps me through everything. I also have the love of my older brother Jesus Christ and my Heavenly Father that are rooting me on. I’m really thankful for the opportunity to be here and I keep reminding myself what president Hiskey said. “That God wouldn’t have sent me here if He didn't know I could do it.” My branch president was really impressed Sunday when I told him that I’m surviving on faith and positivity. But that is the best that I can do at the moment and I’m doing my best for padre celestial and for my future investigators 110% 

Ok so now about this week. I got a random bloody nose that was pretty weird. I haven’t had one since I was like 9. I also got kicked in the face and a soccer ball to the face ( these were not before or on the same day as my bloody nose) I hit my head on my cabinet in my dorm and have a nice bruise haha I’m gonna live I promise. Oh one more. I had a really bad sugar crash, that was hard. But I made it through on fruit snacks. Which are all gone.  The meals here don’t have a lot of protein just a lot of carbs. And we all know how I react to high carbs.... 

Also Elder Rasband came last Thursday and it was so amazing!!!!

One thing that I liked that he said is “We are at WAR with the adversary, fighting for the souls that still need to come unto Christ”- so amazing! So then we had our usual classes and then teaching lessons. We have 2 new investigators now instead of one. I've been struggling with the lessons but its fine. Sundays here are amazing. I’ll tell you about President Moore's lesson next week. My eyes are hurting from staring at the screen but it probably doesn’t help that I’ve been crying all morning. 

The gospels true! I love it with all my heart! Oh and the Lima temple is gorgeous I’ll try to take a picture
today when I’m there, and send it next week! 

Love you all so much!

Love
Hermana McNamara